So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
