i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
