I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
