just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
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