i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
