Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Randomize
