She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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