There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
