Midget sex pt 2 tonight
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
