One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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