these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Can you bring me the toilet please
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
