perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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