I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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