I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize