You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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