I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
