so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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