I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
