oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
