How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
her vagine was all disorganized.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
