Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
