Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
