She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
