Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize