you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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