Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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