So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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