Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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