Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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