Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize