last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
