Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
