so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
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