the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
