I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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