All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
