he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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