who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
