If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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