Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
