I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Randomize
