I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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