We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
