A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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