I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
