And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
