absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
