If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
