we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
