Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
