you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
