i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
