do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Randomize
