Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Randomize
