I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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