Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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