when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Fuck appropriateness.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
