Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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