The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
