i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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