Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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