So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
