He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize