I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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