It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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