you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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